we are here we are here we are

NBD. Just control and live-stream another human being’s every action via bluetooth or texting with YouMe. Is this unfathomably shortsighted, or am I just a party pooper? Love that PSFK just called it “an unusual service,” but agree with this guy.

(youme – real world characters)

Yesterday I was walking down Greenpoint Ave. in the slightly pathetic rain and saw something (I’ve already forgotten what) that I wanted to describe (FYI, my thought process is akin to writing in a journal at all times – and yes, it gets really obnoxious), but I couldn’t do it without wanting to laugh at myself for sounding lame and memoir-y. And I came to the conclusion that one only wants to hear descriptors like “haunting” and “beautiful” and “eerie” from anonymous sources. Or when in an altered state. Likewise, it turns out that poetry when written by real, tangible personas generally comes across as creepy and contrived. It’s the reason we keep private diaries and make up identities. Why we like secret admirers better than known ones. It’s the reason the anonymity of the Internet is successful and persistent. This alternate reality is a coping mechanism and a way to perpetuate our delusions of the things we create not being stupid (or to avoid changing societal perceptions of ourselves). Unless you already seem douchey and presumptuous in real life but like a poignant genius in writing, in which case you’re welcome to hold onto that image and consider yourself among my long list of faceless online crushes.

Bobby and I were talking the other day, and we decided there needs to be an augmented reality app (I’m getting tired of hearing about them, too) dedicated to “liking” things in real life. Because sometimes I don’t feel like I need to really review things, I just want to say, “Yes, props, I like this. I like Lulu’s and their free pizza. And I would like to acknowledge that and let other people know.”

I realize that Yelp kind of does this supposedly (my poor little cracked iPhone 2G has no idea), but I want it to be simpler so that I’m just walking around and when I see something, I can pull out my phone and look through the camera and just tap it once and like it, or double tap it and dislike it. And then when other people come by and wonder if they should go in, they can just look through the app/camera and it shows 40 thumbs up and 10 down. And then the menu would have 5 thumbs up on the pesto grilled cheese and 50 down on the pickle snowcone (which should consequently probably be taken off the menu).

And in the future, maybe that guy sitting at the bar with his laptop on Saturday night would have 1 thumbs up until he gets to the foosball table and has 43 thumbs up because he’s an amazing teammate. (In which case he’s on my side and Lauren can be on David’s.)

OK GUYS? NOW MAKE THIS FOR ME. © REBLECHA&FINGERFOOD ‘09

Why had I never heard of “Design Management” before tonight? I’m researching graduate programs in Interaction Design and came across an article about designers’ salaries in 2009, and wow. What’s up, Career Objectives? Coroflot tells me that, while Interaction Design is pretty fabulous, Design Management is where it’s at. (That use of a preposition at the end of a sentence is my way of saying “Goodbye” to the prospect of getting a Masters in Journalism. And thank God, because we all know it wasn’t going to get me anywhere the way that field is headed.) Not to mention I find the idea of Design Management really interesting.

I just finished sorting my entire 95-movie-deep Netflix queue in reverse projected star rating order. (I’m now working on the Instant queue.) Why?

How I’m feeling a day after watching Antichrist:

1. It’s worse than watching porn with your parents.
2. Nevertheless, I’m not disappointed that I saw it.

The first thing I’ve been telling people when they ask about it is that it’s incredibly beautiful. The visuals are exactly what I want out of cinematography. While every single frame is breathtaking and worthy of being printed and hung on my walls, Anthony Dod Mantel (I just Googled him) is unquestionably a cinematographer rather than a director of photography. (He also did – in addition to a slew of Scandinavian films – Slumdog Millionaire and 28 Days Later, which is one of my favs.) One of my biggest film pet peeves is when scenes start like compelling photographs but feel flat and contrived translated to a medium with motion.

On a related note, I wish I had watched it on mute. The ambient sounds were fair. The music was appropriate. The writing was horrible. Laughable. In rare form, Bobby and I giggled our way through explicit sex scenes more because of the inane and unrealistic dialogue than out of immaturity.

Nevertheless, it lived up to my expectations. Which is an unusual thing for a movie to do lately (see: Where the Wild Things Are, Paranormal Activity). I watched the movie after building it up for 3 weeks wanting to be shocked, disturbed, or at the very least creeped out, and it did not let me down. I respect the movie for grossing me out and horrifying me with sadomasochism legitimately used to further the plot without being the main focus. But I think Lars von Trier has to be absurdly arrogant to think that he made a huge statement with it. I get it. Human Nature and Mourning and Desire and Self-Flagellation-as-Repentance. Cool. The script made me feel like he thinks I, personally, am an idiot. But who’s the one who used a talking fox?

As much as I would miss the dreamy forest images, I could have done without anything past the Prologue. The Prologue is moving, unsettling, and beautiful, there’s no obnoxious dialogue, and it leaves all the violent guilt to your imagination rather than spelling it out, alongside impressively realistic vulgar doodles, in washable marker on wide-ruled notebook paper.

This blog hasn’t felt very comfortable for me since I started it. I really just wanted to learn how to use WordPress. But tonight I got bored with my Netflix movie and fell in love with this theme, so I’m going to try to write more, here.

So now my plan is to re-re-redo my website, learn to use MooTools, study for the GRE, find a job, install two small black chandeliers in my bedroom, and lastly, obviously, take over the world. Any assistance is welcome.

Mobile devices with cameras. Using augmented reality. And facial recognition technology. And online databases. To identify people, places, things. All around you. To show you not only who that random guy on the bus is, but also his facebook, last.fm, twitter, phone number?

I find this:

1. Enthralling. Hopeful. We can do anything with our phones and we’re making everything work together and it’s amazing and progressive and exciting.
2. Terrifying. Everyone is big brother/everyone is being watched.

Augmented ID by TAT: Mobile Devices Become Clairvoyant – PSFK.

Download The Pirate Bay … From The Pirate Bay.

What a cool, simple way of giving a 21.3 GB finger to the Swedish government.

I think it’s really awesome to have a government initiative to keep up with technology and societal trends – basically just to evolve along with us. I love that it puts a value on people with contemporary skills, although there are those who would probably create these applications regardless. Either way I think it’s totally amazing and am excited to see what comes out of it.

brandflakesforbreakfast: nyc: play with our data and make cool tools.